There have been a couple of times that I worked on a blog for two days or more. It is a process in which an extreme rough draft is laid down and then revisions happen. And then many re-reads and revisions. All of it takes more than one day. That doesn’t include the whole process of thinking about what to write and how.
There have been a couple of times when I worked on a blog for a couple of days or more and then when I go to publish the program glitches. Even when clicking the ‘save’ button, the whole blog simply disappears. *POOF* All words and thoughts simply dust in the wind. I cannot tell you how much it sucks. Those of you who have had the experience know. Rewriting is not an option. I’ve tried. It doesn’t go so well.
Last night was one of those experiences. I knew I would not be writing another any time soon. But it is Sunday and on Sundays, since this whole lock-down procedures was implemented I have been involved in a zoom call among self defense colleagues. They have been more than a life saver. I cannot express how much of a port in the storm they have been.
This evening was full of much laughter. The people are so diverse and so incredibly knowledgeable. It is with this group and with other training colleagues that I feel ‘normal’ -whatever that means. At the least, I don’t feel so out of place.
The blog I had lost the day before was about imposter syndrome, sort of. It was really about incompetence syndrome. I feel more of an incompetent rather than an imposter. The company I keep on Sundays help quell the incompetence. It’s in the trust and the respect.
The frustration of losing words laid out is harsh, indeed. Technology certainly has a way of testing ones patience. There has been a few times that I have lost whole blogs. Words lost forever, and if I must say so myself, they were pretty good. If I choose to publish it has to be something I like, writing that meets my satisfaction.
So with yesterday's loss of words. And today’s jovial, informative Chiron Zoom call to the rescue, the weekend is not a total loss.
