Wisdom of Knowledge-Quest

There came a time when it was realized that in order to get beyond, a stand had to be taken. Then a source had to be discovered, and now another level in the process of development.

In the pursuit of knowledge, I believe wisdom plays a brilliant role in the realization that it is time for 'next'. This weekend I had the opportunity to find that 'next'. Sometimes it is kind of scary for me to think about where I have come from and what I have done. It's like taking Morphius' red pill and experiencing disbelief of the world around the way Neo did.

The trick to learn the 'next' is to find an authentic instructor. For me that is one of those unbelievables. When I was ready to pursue specializing in self defense, my path crossed Phil Messina. From him I not only got to learn how to teach self defense effectively, but I finally learned what vital elements I needed to make it whole.

Now I find myself at the next crossroad. The necessity to gain a deeper understanding of violence. For some reason there is an overwhelming desire to understand it at a deeper level. Why?

Why does one learn self defense? What are the reasons? If I ask a group this, the answer would be to be better prepared to protect ourselves.

OK. From what?

There are many bogus programs out there, and because violence is more rare than media has us believe, a person may never have to apply their self defense skill. So since it may never happen, all that bogus-ness isn't put to the test.

Now the next phase of my knowledge-quest has developed, and lo & behold... I have found an authentic teacher. You cant 'unlearn' something, so now that I have begun, I cant go back. I have opened a new perspective for myself, and it is fascinating.

Time to take in that red pill.

Guardian of the Future

There was one point in time when I was sitting on a chair in my front room thinking, "It would be nice to have a little one running around here." That was the summer of 2006. Lo and behold, the summer of 2007 we had a wee one in our family. I know how powerful thought can be. I have experienced it over and over again.

But every once in a while it is nice to be reminded of how special the days are. There is nothing like having a routine in the day that you can look forward to. For me it is going to pick up the 'kid' after school and hanging out with him. I miss him being a baby, but I enjoy him being the conversationalist he has become. The days go by quick and when I don't have to pick him up, it can be a nice break, but when it is several days in a row, it is like I am missing something vital in my day. I get bummed.

That got me to thinking, what would life be like without 'you'? Would one really know how empty life would be, what would it be filled with? I cannot imagine. I have been in the wilderness of New Mexico for an period of time, alone and fasting, with nothing but a tarp, sleeping bag and 4 gallons of water and knowing that when I returned, we would be hanging out doing stuff. The older you get the more stuff we get to do. I am looking forward to teaching and sharing... my responsibility to you is to teach you about life, prepare you for the future and keep you centered, grounded and hungry for knowledge. Along with all this, I must prepare you to face the challenges you will have, and all this through all the distractions that you are bombarded with. Especially when it seems that my concepts are not supported by the others that love you so much they cannot say 'No'.

Our responsibility as the adult is to prepare our youngster to become responsible adults.

Speak to them as if they were intelligent, expecting them to be accountable and holding them to the basic principles of 'be kind and respectful' 'work hard' 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all' and limit television, or at least monitor what is being watched. Why would you want their minds filled with the garbage they see on TV. Also, if they have a cell phone it should be in your possession from 9pm until they leave for school. Sleep is vital for future adults' healthy growth.

This is just my opinion based on my observations. I know this would help our society in the long run. But I know it is an inconvenience to some parents to be so pro-active in their kid's social human development.

Preparing to Defend

Another week, another post. I have stepped into an adventure that is both exhilarating and scary. I have signed up for a weekend of training in Oakland. I am staying in San Francisco, driving myself there. Driving in California is the scary part.

I am attending another seminar facilitated by Rory Miller, author of 'Meditation on Violence'. I read this book last June and absolutely loved it. It covers aspects of self defense that I have been contemplating for as long as I can remember. Violence is a part of personal defense that is a given, but the training most get is not very accurate. This is because we are so influenced about what happens in a violent situation thru media and video. When we step into most karate/martial arts classes, which we all know are synonymous with self defense, we begin practicing defense for specific situations. All crisp in our white karate uniforms, with our nifty colored belt around our waist and our bare feet gripping the floor.

But violence is anything but crispy white or nifty. it certainly can be gripping, but not specific. There are a lot of variables, and unforeseen circumstances, that are not usually brought up in the karate workout. Even sparing, no matter how fun, is still not quite the realism one would experience in the terror of a real violent encounter.

My contemplations with this began during my training. Even tho I had never really had a 'violent' encounter, I somehow knew that a violent encounter would probably not be the way I had been training for. Therefore, I am adamant at finding distinct, training with excellent instructors who have true, accurate experience. How else can I truly prepare my students, no matter how few, to defend against the terror of a violent encounter.

Read about the the upcoming training.. here.

Frustrations and Knowledge

For January I offered several personal defense courses. A couple thru Great Basin College and a 3-session course in Wells. I had one person for the Wells class. A few others who said they were interested, didn't follow thru. This is one of the frustration each of us a personal defense instructors experience.

As for the GBC workshops, I showed up Saturday the 22 for the morning. But after waiting there until 9am and having no one show up I left. There were only 2 people signed up, but I was looking forward to the class. It turns out, that the two people were traveling from a near by town and came upon an accident on their way to my class. They are first responders, so they took care of the scene. Needless to say, I have rescheduled the class for this coming Saturday. I am looking very forward to meeting these ladies! Some press releases have been sent to hopefully get a couple of more people to sign up.

The frustration of having so few ladies take such a beneficial class can get to me sometimes. Often times I wonder why I continue to train and pursue the information and education I do, at my expense, to become more knowledgeable about defense and violence. Becoming the best, most accurate teacher I can be is of what use if there are no students? I am about to go off to yet another training in which day two is titled, Concrete, Dirt, & Barstools. Environmental fighting simulations at a real biker bar, rented specifically for training. What I know I will get from this training is yet another level of understanding of defensive situations, and violence.

Why?

What for?

I am going to drive to an area I have never been before, stepping into a training situation that is rather intimidating to think about. I have full confidence and faith in the trainers ability to train. He is diligent, well trained, and knowledgeable. It will be fun and exciting, and I will be meeting some great people. I always do when I venture into training.

So as I asked Travis once, "What are you going to do with all this 'knowledge?"

I too, ask myself, "What do I do with all this knowledge?"

Commitment and Action

I was watching Phil's lecture video on commitment and action and part of the lecture talked about the paths we take in our lives. As we journey though our lives, the easiest path to take is the one that others have forged and laid out for us. But that may not necessarily be the path we want to take.

A few things crossed my mind upon hearing this; arranged marriages, being forced into or away from a gender-specific occupations, attending a specific college because everyone else in the family had... so many things in our lives are pre-forged for us.

It is scary to wander off the beaten path to find a different way. Our own way.

I consider my life to be a journey, as many do. When I reflect upon this journey of mine, it has been remarkable. At least to me. I had never thought of some of the things I've done, participated in, or accomplished in a 'commitment' sense. But in retrospect, the commitments I made throughout my life has been chunks of commitments and actions to have brought me to where I am. I thought I was just having fun and doing what I enjoyed. I never considered my years of martial arts training as a commitment, but it most certainly was.

Being committed to something is easy when it is something we enjoy. The test of the character comes when we commit to something we may not have an exceedingly amount of passion for. Jogging for instance. Or just any consistent time focused upon a specific activity that is necessary, but may not be enjoyable. Like paying bills, laundry, cleaning, working out, etc.

Resolutions have a commitment factor. To make a resolution to do something is one thing, putting that resolution into action is another. Commitment without action is just empty words. We hear lots of those.

What actions have been taken towards 'commitments' you've expressed. I for one, have spent more time on the treadmill. I have also added to this blog every week since the 1st. It can be tough figuring out what to write about. It's constantly a thought at the back of my mind, 'what am I going to post this week?' And then finding the time to sit down and gather thoughts in a coherent manner to do it. Then I think, 'Well, who gives a shit, no one reads this any way. Missing one week won't be a big deal.' Which it really wouldn't make a difference to anyone, except me. So here I am putting the action in to my commitment.

Squeezing it in between other actions.

And most of the time I think that I am not doing enough. hmmmm

Xperts R Us

Expert - Having a comprehensive knowledge of or skill in a particular area.

Knowing something in depth, is different than simply dabbling in wide arena and then developing an opinion. Sometimes tho, the knowledge we believe we have can be a figment our our imagination. Would that make it opinion?

It is a fact that the sun rises in the east. Or is it? The fact is that the sun is stationary and the planets are the ones that move. This fact refutes the 'rising' in the east statement, doesn't it?

In depth knowledge is a trait anyone can have. In depth knowledge makes one an 'expert'. I know people who have in-depth knowledge of dolls, engines, football, technology... whenever I converse with them it is always fascinating to me the passion they have for their subject of interest.

How does one become an expert? I think the first requirement is passion. A profound, deep passion for the particular subject. I would never be able to become an expert about auto mechanics. Not my cup of tea. I am however striving to gain expertise in personal defense. It is the subject matter that is my passion. How to be the best instructor possible, how to present information and education to those who need it in the most powerful, comprehensive way, finding other experts who have truly lived the experience. Drawing from those who have real life experience in this stuff is vital.

Anyone can be a self defense instructor, but not everyone has the capacity to truly comprehend what a self defense situation will actually feel and smell like. Violence is not what most people think it is. When a self defense instructor suggest that there is a 'safe' way to fight, or even to comply in your assault -then they are tossing their students to the wolves. Perpetuating myths, falsehoods and employing complicated unproductive mechanics creates a false sense of security. Which in turn, produces a freeze when what the skills and information they have been given fail.

Like any industry, there are great programs, mediocre programs, and lousy programs. How does one find a good, reputable, accurate program of personal defense? Research. There are things that a good program will have. That, will be left for another day....

Stay tuned.

Negligent Instructors

As I was on the treadmill today, I was watching Kevin Dillon's DVD. Part one of Police Tactics Training or something of the sort. I have had the opportunity to train with Kevin. Funny guy. His program is really appealing to me. It is simple, and gets the job done. Nothing fancy, just effective.

While listening to him talk about warm ups and such, I began to wander into my own past training. My instructor was so hardcore and relentless when it came to doing things exactly as he said to. There was no questioning, no alterations allowed. All of it was in the name of training. The greatest part to that regimen was that he insisted things be done properly. Proper body alignment when we did all our warmups and exercises. Proper breathing as we executed movements. All of this, was important. It has become so much more apparent to me why he was so anal about not slacking and not altering.

I have been into other school's classes and watched as the lead instructors allow 'sloppy' skills to develop. No improper fists were ever corrected. I witnessed bent wrists, and yes, even thumbs tucked inside. In fact I was sparring a youngster, and caught his fist in mid-strike to correct his tucked thumb. Why in the world he was allowed to continually develop such a bad, detrimental habit is beyond me. I found it insulting.

I have witnessed so much of these unacceptable habits to be continuously allowed that I have a hard time when others telling me about how great their training is. Perhaps I have become overly skeptical... Nawwwww. It is just that I am frustrated that so many expert black belts literally sacrifice their student's health and well-being because they choose to take no responsibility to learn anatomy along with the how and why of training the body properly. A poor quality of instruction handed down from teacher to student, etc. on down the line

A good school is more than just bustin' out reps and learning bad-ass ways to be a bigger bad-ass. It is a great physical workout that is beneficial for health and fitness for years and years. Our school was full contact, worked out on concrete, and I usually had to spar bigger guys, (because everyone is bigger than me) my knees are still good, no arthritis, and no bad, back, hip, ankle, or any other part of me that suffered damage from improper training. Boxers break, chipped teeth, and a few broken bones... none of which were the result of a negligent instructor.

IDK.. what do you think?

Happy New Year

New Years resolutions usually get broken. I resolve to contribute to my blog regularly for 2011. It has been created and has had only a few posts on it for quite some time. In reading for thru them, they weren't too bad, if I say so myself. I was nicely shocked about the 'fighting' post. All of it was written before reading 'Meditations on Violence'. It was great to have the documentation of my thoughts previous to reading that book.

I have always said both aloud and to myself that I would like to write. In order to be a writer, one must write. So that may be my goal, among others, for this year. I plan to actually schedule writing time into my week so that I may post weekly.

Content will vary, as there are often tidbits of stuff I read or find throughout the day that I find myself quietly bellowing about 'tis time to put that bellowing out there. Overcome the fears of publishing and at least publish on my blog site. Maybe, just maybe, something will come of it, be it outrage or insight.

So welcome to 2011. Keep checking in and see whats up.

Stay Safe.

Self Defense: More Than Fighting

Self defense involves much more than just being physically skilled at fighting. Self defense is not fighting. It involves awareness, threat assessment, verbal assertion, de-escalation and the physical skills are only a small aspect of personal defense. In fact, there have been people with no training, who have successfully defended themselves. Personal defense, finding oneself in a defensive situation, also involves psychological, physiological and legal aspects. A good self defense program will educate about these vitally important areas.

Violence is more involved than the impressions we have embedded in our minds. Through media and other means, it is often thought that violence is merely the physical attack whether by surprise, or not. But our personal safety is much more than physical.

In applying self defense skills, one must understand that it doesn’t mean going from feeling alarmed to immediately implementing physical force. This does not mean a feeling of insult, humiliation, shame or anger makes physical force justifiable. It means knowing of immediate danger of grave bodily harm. Harm as in death or dismemberment, not a broken nail or broken pride.

Personal safety is an issue females think of often. Experiences may have conditioned them to be vigilant in assessing environment and situation. No matter how vigilant, one must be prepared, and self defense training should give the tools and skills for that preparation. There are many great programs with a common goal of providing accurate, practical, valuable skills and information.

One of the most important tools we have for our safety is intuition. Often ignored, it is our greatest ally. It communicates to us in a myriad of ways. If we disregard it, efforts are stepped up to try to get our attention. Learning to listen is essential. Gavin de Becker’s book The Gift of Fear is a remarkable resource to learn more about intuition and learning to listen.

Subtle Warrior Self Defense provides mobile, on-site personal safety education. In our dedication to educate, upcoming blogs will cover the various aspects of self defense. So be sure to check back to learn more!
© Lisa Abbott, Subtle Warrior Self Defense, LLC 2009

Self Defense... the begining

Hiya,

As a former traditional/classical martial artist, I have had the wonderful opportunity to train in the 'old school' ways, which was very harsh and very militaristically regimented. All in all, it was quite exciting and exhiliarating for me. But as the training came to an end, I knew that I was not fully prepared to handle a realistic self defense situation. Many times the traditional martial arts schools fail to fully prepare it's female students for a realistic situation. Sure we may be able to handle a sparing match in which contact may be made... my style was full contact! so I knew I was well trained and fully prepared for that stranger to attack me from out of a dark alley.

But no matter how much preparation on the dojo floor we go thru, it is all still very much controlled. As I said we were full contact, we didnt wear protective equipment and we worked out on concrete. Yep ol' school to the max... but there were still rules of safety, most certainly. The sparing certainly prepared me for close, face-to-face combat. It is an aspect that took me 8 years to adjust to and come to sincerely enjoy. But when it came down to it the opponent was not a stranger from a dark alley. I was unprepared.

It was this experience that started my path to empower women with self defense skills. Covering all aspects, not just the physical blocks and strikes, but the psychological terror, the physiological fear response and the absurdly verbal assertiveness. Many times we can avert a confrontation by being able to assert ourselves verbally. 'KIAI' doesn't always cut it. We must practice the skills we need in order for them to be available to us in a crisis situation. "STOP" "GET BACK" "BACK OFF" may be more appropriate to practice yelling for ordinary everyday women, who simply want the tools of personal safety. Yelling "Kiai" at an assailant doesn't make sense when what you really want him to do is "LEAVE ME ALONE"

So even tho we can never really 'practice' self defense skills, we can certainly drill and prepare for self defense situations. Knowing how to assess potential situations, recognizing threatening circimstances, learning what happens to the body under duress, and knowing what options we have to draw from will give us confidence. That confidence in itself, may help us to avoid a situtaion to begin with, becuase predators look for good victims, and confidence in oneself does not a good victim project.

Welcome to my blog. Your personal safety is ultimately up to you. You are your best defense.